SNL provides a hilarious skit outlining the accomplishments of President Obama as of October, 2009???
Prayer for Daddy’s Computer
Posted in Adult Humor, Comedy, General Humor on June 17, 2009 by omglarry
“Dear God, this year please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy’s computer.
Amen.”
The Stone Koala
Posted in Animal Humor, Comedy, Male Humor, That's Stupid on April 17, 2009 by omglarryA koala was sitting in a gum tree…… smoking a joint.
When a little lizard walked past, looked up and said,
‘Hey Koala! What are you doing?’
The koala said, ‘Smoking a joint; come up and have some…’
So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala ,
where they enjoyed the weed.
After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was dry
and that he was going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned too far
over and fell into the river.
A crocodile saw this, swam over to the little lizard, and
helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard,
‘What’s the matter with you?’
The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he
was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree,
got too stoned, and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile said that he had to check this out, walked
into the rain forest, and found the tree where the koala was
sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,
‘Hey you!’
So the koala looked down at him and said,
‘Shiiiiiiiiiiit, duuuuuude…..
How much water did you drink?!!’
Boogie Boarding With Your Face
Posted in Comedy, General Humor, Male Humor, Sport Humor, Sports, That's Stupid, Video on February 23, 2009 by omglarryThe Soccer Goalie
Posted in Comedy, Sport Humor, Sports, That's Stupid, Video on February 20, 2009 by omglarryHow Far Will A Condom Stretch?
Posted in Adult Humor, Comedy, Male Humor, Politically Correct - Not, That's Stupid, Video on February 19, 2009 by omglarryWomen Drivers
Posted in Adult Humor, Comedy, Female Humor, General Humor, Male Humor, Politically Correct - Not, Video on February 17, 2009 by omglarry2009 Super Bowl Commercials
Posted in Adult Humor, Comedy, Female Humor, General Humor, Male Humor, Politically Correct - Not, Sports, Video on February 13, 2009 by omglarryThe Best of the 2009 Super Bowl commercials.
There are a few annoying ones, but it’s worth the watch.
Cash for Gold Baby…MC Hammer and Ed McMahon’s Super Bowl Commercial
Posted in Comedy, General Humor, Male Humor, Sport Humor, Video on February 12, 2009 by omglarryHave to love MC Hammer and Ed McMahon in this Gold for Cash Super Bowl advertisement…we are melting some gold Baby!
Masterbation Causes Cancer
Posted in Adult Humor, Comedy, General Humor, Male Humor, Politically Correct - Not, That's Stupid on February 11, 2009 by omglarry
A note of concern for my younger readers. Click hyperlink below to learn more about this finding.
Old Cowboy
Posted in Adult Humor, Comedy, General Humor, Male Humor, Politically Correct - Not on February 10, 2009 by omglarry
Ya think you have lived to be in your 70’s and know who you are…then along comes someone and blows it all to the dickens……..
An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked, ‘Are you a real cowboy?’
He replied, ‘Well, I’ve spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.’
She said, ‘I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women.’
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, ‘Are you a real cowboy?’
He replied, ‘I always thought I was, but I just found out that I’m a lesbian.’
Love In A Train
Posted in Adult Humor, Comedy, Female Humor, Male Humor, Marital Humor, Politically Correct - Not on February 9, 2009 by omglarry
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,………. ‘Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.’
‘I have a better idea,’ she replied ‘Just for tonight … let’s pretend that we’re married.’
‘Wow!…………. That’s a great idea!’, he exclaimed.
‘Good,’ she replied. ………….’Get your own damn blanket.’
After a moment of silence, ………………….he farted.
The End
Top Ten Moments For George Bush
Posted in Comedy, General Humor, Political Humor, Video on February 6, 2009 by omglarry500 Pounds and Sex
Posted in Adult Humor, Comedy, General Humor, Politically Correct - Not, Video on February 5, 2009 by omglarryGive it until the 1:30 mark and it gets funny!
The Frantic Pace Of Omaha City Living
Posted in Comedy, General Humor, Politically Correct - Not, Red Neck Humor on February 4, 2009 by omglarry
Excerpt from local Nebraska newspaper…very funny!
“there’s more to life than the thrill-seeking, urban scene you find in a place like Omaha”
Rural Nebraskan Not Sure He Could Handle Frantic Pace Of Omaha
January 17, 2001 | Issue 37?01
A NORTH PLATTE, NE Lifelong North Platte resident Fred Linder, 46, revealed Monday that he doesn’t think he could cope with the fast-paced hustle and bustle of Omaha, the Cornhusker State’s largest city.
“Oh, sure, I bet it’d be exciting at first, going to see 9 p.m. showings of movies, shopping at those big department stores, and maybe even eating at one of those fancy restaurants that doesn’t use iceberg lettuce in their salads,” Linder said. “But I just don’t think I could put up with all that hub-bub for more than a day or two.”
Added Linder: “And parking’s a nightmare there.”
Linder expressed doubts about Omaha’s “hectic pace” while having dinner at the home of Pastor Bob Egan, the longtime spiritual leader of North Platte’s Holy Christ Almighty Church.
“I’d just returned from a ‘Prayer & Share’ fellowship conference in Omaha, and I mentioned to Fred how much I enjoyed myself there,” Egan said. “There’s just so much to do: dining, shopping, seeing the sights?[wife] Margaret and I even saw a touring production of Phantom Of The Opera. But Fred just seemed uncomfortable with the whole idea of it.”
The drawbacks to life in Omaha cited by Linder include the crime, traffic, pollution, and rudeness of Omahans.
“You read such awful stuff in the papers about that place,” Linder said. “Every month, it’s another murder. Between the drugs and the crime and the street gangs, it’s almost as bad as Wichita.”
Those familiar with Linder say his anti-Omaha stance has deepened since his sister left North Platte in 1998 to take a job as human-resources director at an Omaha insurance agency.
“Don’t get Fred started on Omaha,” friend Ken Carlson said. “He’s always resented Amy for going there. They’re a lot less close now than they used to be, and Fred feels it’s because she’s gotten a bit of an attitude since moving to the big city, like she’s superior or something.”
“Let’s just say the glamour of city life has changed [Amy],” Linder said. “She’s definitely ‘gone Omaha,’ if you catch my drift.”
Linder has visited the Nebraska metropolis three times in his life, most recently in 1996 for a farm-equipment show.
“I prepared plenty well before that trip, you better believe,” Linder said. “I bought a money belt and travelers’ checks to protect myself from all those Omaha pickpockets and con men. And I made sure I had a full tank of gas before going, because I sure as heck wasn’t about to pay Omaha prices for gas.”
Linder said he has no plans to visit his sister in Omaha anytime soon.
“If Amy wants to come home only for Christmas, fine,” Linder said. “If that means I only see her once a year, so be it. I just can’t take the noise and commotion of Omaha. It gives me a migraine just thinking about it.”
“That sort of running around at all hours of the day and night might appeal to some, but I believe there’s more to life than the thrill-seeking, urban scene you find in a place like Omaha,” Linder said. “The bright lights and fast cars may have seduced my sister, but they’ll never get me.”
