The Accomplishments of Obama….?

SNL provides a hilarious skit outlining the accomplishments of President Obama as of October, 2009???

Obama Address

…and then the fight started (part 7)

A  woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.          
She is not happy with what she sees and  says to her  husband,       
‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat  and ugly.                        
I really need you to pay me a  compliment.’                         
                                                                           
The husband replies, ‘Your  eyesight’s damn near  perfect.’         
                                                                          
And then the fight started…..

…and then the fight started (part 6)

I took my wife to a restaurant.  The waiter, for some reason,  took my order first.                                                     
                                                                          
“I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare,  please.”                 
                                                                          
He said, “Aren’t you worried  about the mad cow?”"               
                                                                          
Nah, she can order for herself.”                                   
                                                                          
And then the fight started…

…and then the fight started (part 3)

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive… so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started…

…and then the fight started (part 2)

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.’

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started…

THE VIBRATOR

As a woman passed her daughter’s closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.

Shocked, she asked: ‘what in the world are you doing?’

The daughter replied: ‘mom, I’m thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I’ll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.’

The next day, the girl’s father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his
Daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.

To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said: ‘dad I’m thirty-five, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I’ll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.’

A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the living room. She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV.

The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.

The wife asked: ‘What the f@!* are you doing?’

The husband replied: ‘I’m watching football with my son-in-law.’

Proof Girls Are Evil

 

Hat Tip: Brett Rogers

Retired People Have Important Tasks To Perform!

I’ve often been asked, ‘What do you old folks do now that you’re retired?’

Well…I’m fortunate to have a few friends who have chemical engineering backgrounds, and one of the things we enjoy most is turning beer, wine, bourbon, and martinis into urine. And, we’re pretty damn good at it too!!’

“A Flock Of Seagulls” Parody

Where are they now?
 

The Biggest Side Effect og Prescription Medicine

Martial Arts for Seniors

Go Ahead, Take Your Time

This is hilarious…click here.

The Village People as Senior Citizens

Hillary Spoof on Saturday Night Live

Hillary Clinton Shares Why She REALLY Should Be Nominated

This is hilarious!!