Archive for July, 2008

Hillbilly Duck Hunter

Posted in Adult Humor, Comedy, General Humor, Male Humor, Politically Correct - Not on July 28, 2008 by omglarry

A hillbilly went hunting one day in Georgia and bagged three ducks.  He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn’t like hillbillies.

The game warden ordered the hillbilly to show his hunting license; the hillbilly pulled out a valid Georgia hunting license.

The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, ‘This duck ain’t from Georgia. This is a Tennessee duck.  You got a Tennessee huntin’ license, boy?’

The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Tennessee hunting license.

The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, And said, ‘This ain’t no Tennessee duck.  This duck’s From Mississippi .  You got a Mississippi license?’

The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Mississippi hunting license. 

The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck , sniffed its butt, and said, ‘This ain’t no Mississippi duck.  This here duck’s from South Carolina ..  You got a South Carolina huntin’ license?’

Again the hillbilly reached into his wallet and brought out a South Carolina hunting license.

The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the hillbilly, ‘Boy, just where the hell are you from?’

The hillbilly turned around, dropped his pants, bent over, and said, ‘You tell me. You’re the expert.’

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The Italian Nursing Home

Posted in Adult Humor, Comedy, General Humor, Politically Correct - Not on July 26, 2008 by omglarry

A Mexican family was considering putting their grandfather (Guapo Kimo) in a nursing home. All the Hispanic facilities were completely full so they had to put him in an Italian home.

After a few weeks in the Italian facility, they came to visit Grandpa.

‘How do you like it here?’ asks the grandson.

‘It’s wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful, says grandpa.

‘We’re so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you. You know, since you are a little different from everyone.”

‘Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents.

Guapo Kimo says with a big smile.

– -There’s a musician here —

He’s 85 years old. He hasn’t played the violin in 20 years and everyone still calls him “Maestro”

– -There is a judge in here —

He’s 95 years old. He hasn’t been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him “Your Honor”

– -There’s a dentist here —

90 years old. He hasn’t fixed a tooth for 25 years and everyone still calls him “Doctor”

– –And me

I haven’t had sex for 35 years and they still call me “The Fucking Mexican”

An E-Mail From Ireland to America

Posted in Adult Humor, Comedy, General Humor, Political Humor, Politically Correct - Not on July 25, 2008 by omglarry

An email from Ireland to all of their brethren in the States…a point to ponder despite your political affiliation:

‘We, in Ireland, can’t figure out why you people are even bothering to hold an election in the United States

On one side, you had a pants wearing female lawyer, married to another lawyer who can’t seem to keep his pants on, who just lost a long and heated primary against a lawyer, who goes to the wrong church, who is married to yet another lawyer, who doesn’t even like the country her husband wants to run!

Now…On the other side, you have a nice old war hero whose name starts with the appropriate ‘Mc’ terminology, married to a good looking younger woman who owns a beer distributorship!!!

What on earth are ya lads thinkin over in the colonies !

Hat Tip: Jon Constant

High Gas Prices – NozzleRage: Attack of the Pump

Posted in Adult Humor, Comedy, General Humor, Political Humor, Politically Correct - Not on July 24, 2008 by omglarry

 

Hat Tip: Jon Constant

Why I Love Being A Old Guy

Posted in Adult Humor, Comedy, General Humor, Politically Correct - Not on July 3, 2008 by omglarry

“A Flock Of Seagulls” Parody

Posted in Uncategorized on July 1, 2008 by omglarry

Where are they now?