Archive for January, 2009

…and then the fight started (part 13)

Posted in Adult Humor, General Humor, Male Humor, Politically Correct - Not on January 31, 2009 by omglarry

My wife and I are  watching Who Wants To Be A  Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to  her and  said, “Do you want to have sex?”                                                                
                                                                          
      “No,” she  answered.                                              
                                                                          
      I then said, “Is that your  final  answer?”                      
                                                                          
      She didn’t even look at  me this time,  simply saying “Yes.”        
                                                                          
      So I  said, “Then I’d like to phone a  friend.”                    
                                                                          
      And that’s when the fight started….

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…and then the fight started (part 12)

Posted in Adult Humor, General Humor, Male Humor, Politically Correct - Not, That's Stupid on January 30, 2009 by omglarry

I  asked my wife, “Where do you  want to go for our anniversary?”   
                                                                         
It warmed my  heart to see her face  melt in sweet appreciation.    

“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”  she said.                   
                                                                          
So I suggested, “How about the  kitchen?”                         
                                                                          
And that’s when the fight started….

…and then the fight started (part 11)

Posted in Adult Humor, Comedy, Male Humor, Politically Correct - Not on January 29, 2009 by omglarry

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly  dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped  quietly into  the garage.           
                                                                          
I hooked up the boat up  to  the truck, and proceeded to back  out into a  torrential  downpour.                                       
                                                                          
The wind was blowing 50  mph,  so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the  radio, and discovered  that the weather would be bad all day.                                                                     
                                                                          
I went back into the house,  quietly  undressed, and slipped back into  bed.                                                         
                                                                          
I cuddled  up to my wife’s back,  now with a different anticipation,  and whispered, ‘The weather out there  is terrible.’     
                                                                          
My loving wife of 10 years  replied, ‘Can you  believe my stupid husband is out fishing in  that?’                                     
                                                                          
And then the fight started….

…and then the fight started (part 10)

Posted in Adult Humor, Comedy, General Humor, Male Humor, Politically Correct - Not on January 28, 2009 by omglarry

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent  babies.           
                                                                          
Suddenly, at 3 o’clock in the morning, a  loud noise came from outside.                                                                 
                                                                          
The woman,  bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man  ‘Holy crap. That must be my  husband!’                         
                                                                          
So the man  jumped out of the  bed; scared and naked jumped out the  window. He smashed himself on the  ground, ran through a  thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could  go.                             
                                                                          
A few minutes later he returned and went up to  the bedroom and  screamed at the woman, ‘I AM your  husband!’                           
                                                                          
The woman yelled back, ‘Yeah,  then why  were you running?’       
                                                                          
And then the fight  started…..

…and then the fight started (part 9)

Posted in Adult Humor, Comedy, General Humor, Male Humor, Politically Correct - Not on January 27, 2009 by omglarry

My wife asked me if a certain  dress made her  butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she  wore yesterday                   
                                                                          
And then the fight started….

…and then the fight started (part 8)

Posted in Adult Humor, Comedy, Male Humor, Politically Correct - Not, That's Stupid on January 26, 2009 by omglarry

I  tried to talk my  wife into buying a case of Miller Light  for $14.95.                                                             
                                                                          
Instead, she bought a jar of cold  cream for $7.95.                 
                                                                          
I told her the beer  would make  her look better at night than the cold  cream.                                                         
                                                                          
And then the fight started….

…and then the fight started (part 7)

Posted in Uncategorized on January 23, 2009 by omglarry

A  woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.          
She is not happy with what she sees and  says to her  husband,       
‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat  and ugly.                        
I really need you to pay me a  compliment.’                         
                                                                           
The husband replies, ‘Your  eyesight’s damn near  perfect.’         
                                                                          
And then the fight started…..