Archive for the Animal Humor Category

The Stone Koala

Posted in Animal Humor, Comedy, Male Humor, That's Stupid on April 17, 2009 by omglarry

A koala was sitting in a gum tree…… smoking a joint.

When a little lizard walked past, looked up and said,

‘Hey Koala! What are you doing?’

The koala said, ‘Smoking a joint; come up and have some…’
So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala ,
where they enjoyed the weed.

After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was dry
and that he was going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned too far
over and fell into the river.

A crocodile saw this, swam over to the little lizard, and
helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard,
‘What’s the matter with you?’
The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he
was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree,
got too stoned, and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile said that he had to check this out, walked
into the rain forest, and found the tree where the koala was
sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,
‘Hey you!’

So the koala looked down at him and said,

‘Shiiiiiiiiiiit, duuuuuude…..
How much water did you drink?!!’

Man Walk-In Fridge

Posted in Animal Humor, Comedy, General Humor, Male Humor, That's Stupid, Video on January 15, 2009 by omglarry

An Evil Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer

Posted in Adult Humor, Animal Humor, Comedy, General Humor, Holiday Humor on December 15, 2008 by omglarry

Why I Love Dogs

Posted in Adult Humor, Animal Humor, Comedy, General Humor, That's Stupid on March 21, 2008 by omglarry

My Purina Diet Plan

Posted in Adult Humor, Animal Humor, Comedy, General Humor, Male Humor, Politically Correct - Not, That's Stupid on January 19, 2008 by omglarry

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dog Buddy at Wal-Mart and was standing in line about to check out.
               

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

First thing I thought was “where is your sign, lady?” but decided to go with it.  On impulse, I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina weight loss Diet again. 
                  
I said I probably shouldn’t, because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
               
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, you load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete.. so I was going to try it again.
               
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story to say the least.
               
Totally horrified, the lady asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
               
I told her no; I had stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s butt and a car hit us both.
               
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
               
WAL-MART asked me not to shop there anymore.

Negotiating With A Reindeer

Posted in Adult Humor, Animal Humor, Comedy, Politically Correct - Not on January 17, 2008 by omglarry

Mexican Food and Reindeer Do Not Go Together

Posted in Adult Humor, Animal Humor, Comedy, General Humor, Holiday Humor, Holidays, Male Humor, Politically Correct - Not, That's Stupid on January 13, 2008 by omglarry